This is one of what was once a large chain of restaurant-bars

  A Night at Glory Days

        by: W.G.Wilson



(Scene 1 opens with 4 guys in a sparsely furnished apartment, discussing what bar they'll be going to that evening)

Choking Digs(walking into the living room after using the bathroom):"Gary, you cheap b@stard, why don't you buy some better toilet paper? I hate that paper-thin $hit you buy. It's like the stuff they use in the can at the bar"

Gary: "Oh, sorry. They were having a sale at the Dollar Store. It does me fine."

I'mJ: "So, what bar are we going to?"

Gary: "Let's go where we went the other night."

Choking Digs: "Nah! Too hard to find parking. I always get stuck parking on the street, and you've gotta keep feeding the parking meter."

Gary: "C'mon Digs old man. The Sithereens are playing there tonight, and besides, they've got free eats on those complimentary trays they serve."

StifferMum: "Yeah, let's go there Digs. Besides, we can watch the Cap's game there."

Curtain closes, and re-opens for scene 2, as Choking Digs backs his car into a parking space on the street, in front of the bar


(Choking Digs looks over to Gary, who is riding, as he usually does, in the front passenger seat)

Choking Digs: "Gary, dig out a few quarters from my ashtray next to you. I keep quarters in there to feed the meter with."

Gary: "Errr...what's that Digs? Can't hear ya old boy"

Choking Digs: "Nevermind, I'll get em myself"

(Choking Digs is then seen digging though his ashtray)

Choking Digs: "That's funny. I could have sworn that I had an ashtray full of quarters. Same thing happened last week. Guess I used em all. Anybody got a few quarters for the meter?"

Gary: "Huh? Can't hear ya old man. What ya say?"

I'mJ(digging through his pocket): "I've got 3."

StifferMum: "I've got 4."

Choking Digs: "That ought to do it. Be sure to lock the door Gary, you always forget, and I'm always reminding you."

Gary: "I hear ya...I hear ya!"

(Scene 3 opens with the boys being led to a table by a waitress. Choking Digs heads toward the bathroom, to relieve himself before sitting down)

Gary(to the waitress): "We'll take a round of brewski's. Give us your best, and put em on the table's tab."

Waitress(to Gary): "Weren't you in here last week? The boss says that you can't pay your bill with quarters anymore. And besides, you stiffed me on my tip"

Gary: "What's that darlin, can't hear ya with all of the noise & all. Bring us a round."

(The waitress leaves, and soon returns with a round of drafts)

Choking Digs(to the waitress): "What's the deal with locking the bathroom? I had to get the key from the bartender."

Waitress(to Choking Digs): "Oh! The boss did that. He got p'd off. Somebody keeps stealing the toilet paper from the bathroom."

Gary(changing the subject): "How about bringing us one of them complimentary food trays?"

Waitress: "You mean the condiment trays? You've got to order a burger to get that, like your buddy did last week. Are you the one who ate all that relish & pickles? The boss was p!ssed off over that."

Gary(to waitress): "What's that darlin, can't hear ya."

(The waitress walks off)

Gary: "You should have heard her flirting with me Digs, while you were gone to the bathroom. I'd jump on it, except the girlie I'm seeing might get worked up about it."

StifferMum(to I'mJ): "That's the first time I've ever heard a plastic blow-up doll called a 'girlie.'"

(Later...at closing time)

Waitress: "Here's your tab for the drinks boys."

Choking Digs: "Wow! I think the bill is wrong. We didn't order all these rounds you're charging us for."

Waitress: "Huh? Oh! Your little bald friend kept buying drinks for girls at the bar, trying to 'hit' on them. He said to put it on you guy's tab."

Choking Digs:"Oh yeah. What's up with that Gar......"

(Suddenly, Choking Dig's notices that Gary is........gone!)

Choking Digs: "Hey, where'd Gary go?"

Waitress: "Oh! When I told him it was last call, he downed 2 beers and a shot and took off out the back door. One of the bouncers said he saw him arguing with a cab driver, trying to get him to drive him home for a handful of quarters. These cabbies want their money up-front, ya know!"

(Fade out)